Our News is Written in Stone™
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Competitive eating: Appalling, appealing
Article Last Updated: 08/23/2008 06:44:23 PM EDT
Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps.
Let's take a deep breath and salute Phelps' Olympic-record eight gold-medal performance one last time before the impending media and endorsement onslaught. Lost in Phelps' historic achievement was a nugget that certainly impressed me the most — the fact that during training, he consumes upwards of 12,000 calories a day.
That's almost as impressive as what Phelps did in the pool. It got me thinking as I watched the likes of Joey Chestnut, Eater X, Crazy Legs Conti, Badlands Booker and Fairfield native Lars Andersen consume tray after tray of ribs at the Ash Creek Salon rib-eating contest last Sunday afternoon in Bridgeport. Could Phelps — the world's fastest man in water — gobble down barbecued meat as quickly as he glided through the pool at the Water Cube? And by the same token, could any of the competitive eaters swim a lap across the pool — empty stomach or not?
The answers are probably no to both. Here's perhaps a better question: In an era when it seems Time magazine writes a cover story every month about how obese Americans have become, which is the more impressive accomplishment — Olympic swimming gold medals or the spray-painted gold rib necklace won by "Humble" Bob Shoudt?
Taking my tongue firmly out of my cheek (and using a couple toothpicks), obviously the Olympics are the more prestigious feat, but don't discount the growth of competitive
Advertisement
eating.
True, it's hard to list some of the 300-plus behemoths as athletes, but competitive eating itself is probably a sport — even including the postgame vomiting. If you've watched the annual gluttony-fest called the Fourth of July Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, then you're somewhat familiar with the carnival aspect of Major League Eating — the world sanctioning body.
Many of the competitors arrive in outfits and with gimmicks that would make some WWE stars blush. During the duration of Sunday's event, MLE President Richard Shea — wearing the straw hat of a 1930s carnival barker — kept spurring the action in his best huckster fashion. (Shea introduced Chestnut as the George Clooney of macarooney.)
But for all absurd pageantry, once the competition starts it's all business. "Yeah, it's unconventional and it's ridiculous," said "Eater X," whose day name is Tim Janus. "But it's still a sport."
Janus — who holds world records for eating canolis and tiramisu — might not fit the build you'd think of a professional eater. Though he paints his face like the old wrestler the Ultimate Warrior, Janus is of average height and build and says he eats healthy when he's not in competition. I asked Janus what would be the decathlon of competitive eating.
He thought about it, but deferred to the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest as the sport's Super Bowl, World Series and Olympics all rolled into one. "If you want to be taken seriously, you have to do well at Nathan's," Janus said. "If you win that, you're legitimately the greatest eater in the world."
The current world's greatest is Chestnut, who milled through the crowd at the Ash Creek, occasionally stopping to take pictures with his growing fan base. The 24-year-old holder of the coveted "Mustard Yellow Belt" didn't have an entourage or phalanx of bodyguards, appearing as a normal guy — albeit a guy that once inhaled 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes.
When the clock began, Chestnut turned from Clark Kent into the sport's Superman, his jaw tearing through the racks of ribs like a typewriter across a page. Though he won't end up on the cover of Sports Illustrated anytime in the near future, Chestnut is to foodstuffs as Phelps is to water. Chestnut, the prohibitive fan favorite, ended up losing to Shoudt — who amazingly is a vegetarian except for eating contests — by a mere two ounces. Will competitive eating ever surpass the Olympics or even be digested into them?
That's a tough scenario to envision, since gorging on food was more of an ancient Roman pursuit than an ancient Greek one. Maybe the future of competitive eating lies within the episode of "Seinfeld" featuring the famous "Velvet Kramer" painting. An elderly couple gazes aghast at the artistic portrait of the "hipster doofus," surmising, "He is a loathsome offensive brute, yet I cannot look away."
Contact Mike Cardillo at mcardillo@ctpost.com
Archives
March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010
