Ruling: Of course it's a sport

2. Mixed martial arts: Do you want to be the one to tell Rashad Evans that this isn't a sport? Sorry, boxing, but MMA is just as strategic, more exciting and there's no Don King.

Ruling: Sport

3. NASCAR: We were against calling this a sport several years ago - before finding out that a few of the tracks, including the one near Sonoma, allow left- and right-hand turns.

Ruling: Sport (barely)

4. World's Strongest Man Competition: There are few events that we'd rather watch on a lazy weekend. And the feats of strength are impressive. But the events (throwing kegs backward over a wall?) are ridiculous.

Ruling: Not a sport

5. Paintball: The better people get at paintball, the less they run around and the more boring it becomes. If this is a sport, then so is playing Nintendo.

Ruling: Not a sport

6. Frolf: Frisbee golf is cool, but any activity that morbidly obese people and 7-year-olds can play with great amounts of skill doesn't make the list.

Ruling: Not a sport

7. Roller derby: Little-known fact: If you stare in a mirror and say "roller derby is not a sport" five times, the ghost of Ann Calvello will appear and bodycheck you into the rail.

Ruling: Sport

8. Competitive eating: Who watches this? Watching guys eat dozens of hot dogs is self-mutilation with spectators.

Ruling: Not a sport

9. Sumo wrestling: Forget what we said in the frolf entry. Sumo may be the best sport ever.

Ruling: Sport

10. Parkour: If this is a sport, then half of the criminals on "Cops" are elite athletes. As much as we love the opening sequence in "Casino Royale" ...

Ruling: Not a sport

11. Red Rover: Not sure why no one has started a professional league for this classic game, where children try to run through lines of other children. This is the best sport that no one is playing.

Ruling: Sport

- Peter Hartlaub, phartlaub@sfchronicle.com