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Clinton vs. Obama for the sausage-eating title
By Eric HeylTRIBUNE-REVIEWFriday, March 7, 2008
PITTSBURGH (Ersatz News Service) -- Whether Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama is victorious in Pennsylvania might well depend on which of them can rapidly consume the most Vienna sausages.
The two candidates today jointly unveiled a highly unusual strategy to keep voters interested in the fight for the Democratic presidential nomination. They have agreed to hold a series of unconventional competitions, including a competitive eating contest.
The move, designed to keep people from becoming bored in six-plus weeks until the Democrats' next pivotal primary -- April 22 in the Keystone State -- immediately was hailed by party strategists.
"Another month-and-a-half of Clinton and Obama sparring over the minute differences in their respective health care plans? Everyone's eyes would glaze over," said one consultant who did not want to be identified discussing politicians' employing cheap gimmicks to hold a fickle public's attention.
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"But to see if Hillary can not only down more Vienna sausages than Obama, but also possibly beat the record 8.3 pounds consumed in 10 minutes by Sonya Thomas at the Lowe's Motor Speedway in Charlotte back in May 2005? That would be positively electric."
The competitive eating contest, which will be March 12 at Pittsburgh's Benedum Center for the Performing Arts, will kick off the competitions.

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