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Alex Weprin

Ladies And Gentlemen, The Worst TV Show in the World!
April 29, 2008

I knew this day would come. One day, some network would give the green light to a show, most likely a reality show,which would take the prize as the worst show ever created.

Today, G4 announced a new show that has to be considered a front-runner for that title. Without further ado, I present to you, dear readers, Hurl!

LOS ANGELES, April 29, 2008 — G4 is taking competitive eating competitions to the next level with a new series that combines speed-eating with intense physical challenges. In each episode, five brave contestants attempt to consume the largest quantity of food in a short amount of time and are then immediately subjected to a series of challenges designed to shake them up. The one to hold his or her food down the longest claims victory and walks away with a cash prize, the Iron Stomach Award, and more importantly, serious bragging rights. The half-hour series, "Hurl!" premieres summer 2008 on G4.

The competition is made up of multiple stages, beginning with an intense eating contest. Contestants are challenged to consume a massive portion of some popular All-American favorite, as quickly as they can, with items ranging from chicken pot pies to New England chowder, fish sticks, hot dogs, blueberry pie, and more. Those who devour the largest quantity and keep everything down move on to the second stage where they must face nausea-inducing physical challenges, designed to shake them up – from carnival rides to belly flops off a high dive, to mechanical bull-riding. Each episode features two different cuisines and a new outrageous challenge.

The few survivors remaining who have held on to their stomachs are forced back to the food table, where they must gorge an additional serving of a surprising new menu item. In a comedic and gag-inspiring display, the remaining few desperately try to prevent themselves from getting sick. If the competition is still underway after the second round of eating, they advance to the final tie-breaker stage, heading back to the daunting physical challenge. And this time, for added pressure, the physical challenge introduces a surprise twist, making the final stage especially difficult.

Viewers will laugh and cringe their way through the half-hour show as they witness the eliminations of contestants who can no longer avoid the inevitable queasiness and the often messy celebrations of the new champions.

"G4's mission is to be a multi-media destination that's 'relevant' and 'authentic' to the interests of today's young male demo," said Neal Tiles, president, G4. "'Hurl' is really an idea that is inspired by the world of viral video which has proven to be massively popular with young guys today."

I swear when I read this I thought it was an April fools joke. Perhaps Comcast decided that all of April would be fair game for practical jokes? But no, apparently this is the real deal. SO mark your calendars folks, summer 2008 is when the world will end in a grotesque shower of half-digested foodstuffs.

posted by Don "Moses" Lerman  # 2:22 PM