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How do you train for an all-you-can-eat gyro contest?

With other sports, you train by practicing right up to game time. The Houston Rockets will practice basketball the day before a game, have a shoot-around that afternoon and do layup drills two minutes before the opening jump ball.

With competitive eating, the last thing you want before a gyro-eating contest is a bellyful of sliced beef and lamb, onions, lettuce, tomatoes and tzatziki sauce stuffed in warm pita bread. Yum.

I'm not going to argue whether eating 8.8 pounds of deep-fried asparagus in 10 minutes is an athletic event. The International Federation of Competitive Eating (IFOCE) calls it a sport. That's good enough for me.

"Gyros are a tough discipline because of the meat and bread combination. I'm working on my strategy. I will be ready when the horn blows," said David Cagle, Houston's top-ranked stomach stuffer. The IFOCE has Cagle rated the No. 50 competitive eater in the world.

To get a handle on Cagle: He's 45, paints his face like the rock band KISS and prefers that you call him SyKoBOZO.

"I spell it that way because it looks like a ransom note," he said.

In real life, Cagle draws up building plans for the City of Houston (your tax dollars at work), deejays at parties and works concert security.

The 4th Annual Original Gyro Eating Contest sponsored by Niko Nikos Greek-American Restaurant will be at 7:30 p.m. May 17 during the Festival of Greece at St. Basil the Great Greek Orthodox Church, 1100 Eldridge Parkway. This is the first time the contest will be sanctioned by the IFOCE.

Festival of Greece is its official name. But everybody calls it the Greek Festival. Either way, the baklava and gyros taste just as fantastic. The festival runs May 15-18. For information on how to enter the gyro-eating contest, click on www.ifoce.com.

Here's SyKo's strategy. (I know him, so I get to call him SyKo.)

"I won't eat for 12-14 hours before the event. Some of the contestants starve themselves for two or three days before a contest, but that doesn't feel right for me. I've been practicing on gyros for the past week or so.

"The first time, I ate a few of them as a complete sandwich. I'm going back today, and I'll separate the meat from the bread to see if that works better. Gyros don't eat real fast. There's a lot of meat in there, and the bread is kind of thick."

He's got other problems beside meat and bread. Staring across the table from him will be Pat Bertoletti, the No. 2 eater in the world. "Deep Dish" Bertoletti once ate 21 pounds of grits in 10 minutes and 16 pounds of strawberry shortcake in 8 minutes. Both feats were done, presumably on different days, in IFOCE-sanctioned contests.

Tim Janus, the No. 4 eater in the world, is entered. Janus, another face painter, specializes in ethnic foods such as sushi, cannolis, tamales and — uh-oh — gyros. Fifth-ranked "Humble" Bob Shoudt and 12th-ranked Erik "The Red" Denmark will compete, too.

The Greek Festival is negotiating to bring in the legendary No. 1 eater Joey Chestnut, who won the matzo ball-eating contest last time he was in Houston.

Internationally renowned, but Houston-based, financial wizard Brent Bechtol, claiming to be in the "best eating shape of my life," is considering making his professional debut in the gyro contest.

Then there's the problem of timing. The gyro contest will be held at 7:30 p.m.

"That's unusual for us. Most eating contests are held in the afternoon. I called the Greek Festival when I heard it was being held at night just to double check. I'm hoping that will throw off some of the other contestants," SyKoBOZO said.

Just when you thought this couldn't get better, Houston is now the No. 1 city for competitive eating contests in America. We've already had the matzo ball contest, next up is gyros, and in September, the Kolache Factory Kolache Eating Contest returns to Minute Maid Park after an Astros game.

If you want to party with a bunch of guys who've just eaten waaaay too much, the post-gyro bash will be held at the Meridian night club, 1503 Chartres. Refreshments will be available.

ken.hoffman@chron.com

Listen to the Ken Hoffman Show on 1560 "The Game" from noon to 2 p.m. weekdays.